Just finished BSLC and going to ASLC.

Very previously, I talked about how I fucking hate what am I going through, now it's double the hatred. I know about defending my nation but it's seriously getting on my nerves. Many times, I had thought about how my life would be different if there's no this and it is fucking great. Sleeping at anytime I want and waking up anytime I want seems so good to me. It's fucking good to me. At least for 22 years old, it is a fucking luxury to me and to those of same age as me but didn't have to serve at all, you guys are mutherfucking enjoying your fucking life.

Anyhow, I've walked my ass off for BSLC and going into ASLC. Somehow I like the "BSLC" and "ASLC" sounds. Maybe I'm used to the alphabetic short form for almost everything in Singapore, at least to me, Foundation Term and Professional Term seems a little bit pretentious to me.

Barely a year as NSF, I am already tired and sick of the life. You know the block leave they gave to us is either too short or we didn't fucking treasure every second of it. A week outside seems like a day and a day inside seems like a day. You know, my buddy, Vincent, he keep saying that my endurance is good. Though it sounds like a compliment but fuck, it added more pressure to me. To me endurance is basically how well you're prepared for it, mentally or physical. Either you cheating your mental with caffeine or you bluff your body by sleeping alot beforehand. I pushed myself so that I can go home and hold my girlfriend's hands.

Booking in is really a bitch, you know? Especially a long break like this, I love the civilian life so damn much. I thought I was emotional independent and I could take any that comes in my way but fuck, this is sucking my motivation of my life away.

Fucking 4 more months to get the black rank.

Fucking 32 km with river crossing.

Fucking Cresendo

Fucking extras.

I have no idea why do we need to still perform guard duties when the PDF was already established. I mean their purpose is to guard. My fear, generally the NSF's fear of getting duties is there, every day.

"You see the office there? You go and sign 2"

Fuck that, because of that I'm cautious of what am I doing and I love my bookouts. See? My life and mind is disrupted.


But what to do? I'm a Singaporean, loving the country.

I missing my girlfriend. :)

Fucked.

Well, in another 36 hours, I would leave the Singapore and join the rest of the botak people in Tekong. It just dawned to me that I'm too dependable on the luxuries that I took for granted for, Internet, TV, food and the cozy bed that I could just dump my stuff on it. Oh well, I have been groaning and whining about it for pretty long time already and I find myself like a bitch now.

The thing is I dread of is not regimental life itself, it's how my name tag would be. I have been made fun since from young and there are always immature little mutherfuckers find it funny. Am I insulted? Hell yeah! Can I take a joke? Hell no!

Not exactly no, but when the joke get old and insulting, it's not rocket science that one will get mad at it. This time is worst. Can you fucking imagine? C.C Lim.

Yeah, fucking laugh all you want, you childish little fucks. I could have changed my name but I didn't want to because it's given by my parents and I respect them. You'd say all you want with my name but I'd say poor your parents, for having a retarded child like you. FUCK YOU!

But inevitable, I will get teased at. No doubt because as long as there's human on earth, there's fucking infantile imbecile around. So I take a higher road and curse them that their asshole will just one day closed up shut and eventually they will die with shit flowing through their mouth.

I have been thinking alot recently and I started to miss alot of things.

I miss maneuverer through the crowds with you while holding your hands and how your hands just fit nicely into mine.

I miss holding your waist and guide you away from danger.

I miss eating at any point of the time

Fuck, I miss hell alot of stuff.

I'm gone for now but I'll be back soon enough.

First post of many posts.

Hey internet world, I'm back to blogging; leaving my internet traces, so that you all can track me down and point your little laser red dot on my forehead.

Being not blogging for a long time, everything changed. Anyway, I wanted to phrase it like,"Being not writing.." but hell no, I ain't a writer and I'm not trying  and I don't want to be one. I blog rubbish while writers write things that motivate people in some inspirational way or sleepy way but anyway, I still remember I had done up my previous blog till everything have to done with HTML codes for the position of the headers, the sidebars and what's not.

Now, fuck me, everything is drag and drop, click and unclick, much more idiot proof, I still remember people was paid for designing their blogspots(or they still do?), of course, I'm not saying that I'm good enough in my programming skills to design a blogspot and looking down on people doing that.On the contrary, I would kowtow to them if they design a website like fucking make me in awe. 

Why am I talking about website programming shit anyway? So I'm very fine, thank you very much. Pretty much alive and kicking. I'm not going to talk about relationship problem here. I know and everyone knows that Google search can searched out every single things in the internet. If I typed something wrong in here then I'm fucked. I'd rather lessen the trouble.

Soon, I'm going to be enslaved myself and my body to the SAF. It's really really fucking sian. Not to whine or anything, the 1 year and 10 months could accomplish alot of things and alot of things can happen in that period of time. I know just serve and fuck off. I clearly know that but it's not just simply just a year and ten months. It's freaking 10 years with all the reservist and shit. Because of this, my friends, employers rather pick  foreigners than to local. I may sound like a blabbering pussy but hey, that's the truth. You won't want your employee to suddenly disappear with all the workload just because its reservist. Sure, reservist can be disrupted but how many times can it be done? Pretty fucked up situation. 

Sometimes people refused to believe in something that had already there in front of their eyes. It's fucking frustrating and ridiculous to find out that when you know it's the truth because evidence are there but someone just want to play devil's advocate. It like,"Hello moron? Wake up and smell the truth! You fucking retard." I just don't understand. It's similar to like when you know you shouldn't do something but fuck, you did it. 

Like in the fucking train system, your fat ass is blocking the way and you know your ass is fucking fat, please get the fuck in. Stop squeeze yourself to the pole to give way to people entering, you're not going to blend in  with the pole. You got space on your left, please fucking move in. Fat people, I'm going to talk about fat people. Especially, fat girls and dudes who think they're pretty, sexy and handsome. Well, those fat people who are born fat or genetically fat or have more important thing to do (i.e. family/work), I can understand. I bear no grudges but to those who fucking eat themselves fat with big mac on the left hand and milkshake in the right, fuck you and know your fucking place in the society. Face the fucking truth, if you're fat, the chances of getting hooked up is fucking small than when you're slim.

If the train do not have any space for skinny people, do you think there's space for your lard to squeeze? And when you squeeze, stop fucking moving around with your lard and thinking everyone wants to feel you up. You are fat, you are not appealing. Slim girls are appealing, not you with big mac on your left hand. 

Like self importance, people who regard themselves too important. Like giving way, I mean I don't mind giving way to people generally. Maybe I don't like get in contact with strangers, brushing your elbow or limb maybe your thing but it's not my thing. I get pissed off when people thinks they're too important to give way, even when you saying,"Hi, sorry, my kid over there needs his inhaler for his asthma and he almost out of breath, would you excuse me and letting pass through?" but they just stand there as if they're too important in their spot. 

But on another hand, people who insist their way through people are fucked up. When there's no space, do not fucking push your way and expect people to forgive you and also waving your hand and pull your hand across, do not fucking means that I have to give way to you. Even when you said that your kid is dying because you're too stupid to leave you fucking kid alone without his inhaler and there's no fucking space in front of me, could you fucking please think out of the 2cm by 2cm box and make a small  half metre detour behind me, instead of wasting your time trying to squeeze through? 

People on the streets are generally fucking retarded, yes you mutherfucker,  stop cutting into people's lane and suddenly just stop in front of them just to have a small talk with the other people. Have some fucking common sense, choose somewhere else to stop suddenly. Similar to people who walk abreast in groups of 5, as if they're backstreet boys. Fucking retards. 

And I have something to say but if I post it out, I'll probably get charged by sedition. If you happened to walk in my neighbourhood, you'd probably know that some certain people are more fucking disgusting and stupid than people. 

I may be critical but you know I'll telling the truth. 

So now I digressed so much that I've forgotten what I've thought what I wanna say. Oh ya, I just watched Inception recently and damn, it was a powerful movie. It left me quite an impression. Those who don't understand the movie and think this movie sucks, really do not have, much imagination and intelligence in them. 

Okay, one method that I judge people is what movie they watched (Fine, I'm judgmental, bite me). 

People who think Shutter, Dark Water and The Grudge is more frightening than Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity, are shallow. They are only going for cheap thrills that last for probably at most one minutes but the latter two choices was those movies that will fucking sink into your cerebellum and just rest there, then gradually as the days goes by and the thought will slowly surfaced up and suddenly mindfuck your brain and your hair will just stands even when the movie is days ago. Now that's fucking scary. 

Or people who thinks that Terminator, Resident Evil and Twilight are generally better movies than Unthinkable, The Exam and Inception are shallow too. They don't appreciate the storylines, they would think the latter choices are boring, meaningless and waste of time, but watching movie is about the storylines isn't it? 

Oh well, I should end this post and continue next time because this is getting darn long already.